Friday, October 15, 2010

Girlfriend, are you lonely?

I've had an awakening this past week. Well, probably the past month or so. And I do believe that God is calling and I'm hearing that call.

I am still planning to write the book mentioned on these pages but as it does with many things, life got in the way, and so did feelings of lack of self-worth, lack of motivation, and the feeling that I was just treading water. For far too long I've been alone - very alone.

I have a family I love and adore, the most wonderful husband who is also a great friend and lots of colleagues, associates, contacts and so on. My business has kept me busy for many years and so have my personal interests of writing, gardening and photography. I don't know the meaning of 'boredom' and always have projects and things to keep me busy.

I love our Lord Jesus Christ and know that He, and our Father God, have carried me through the darkest days and nights, moments in my life that I wouldn't have wished on anyone and yet, there's still something that is missing... Something I haven't had since my early 20s and I'm now in my early 50s. That thing is a girlfriend. Someone I can laugh and cry with, confide in, giggle with, share my dreams with and my prayer needs and someone I can talk to, when perhaps my husband might not be the one I need to share something with.

It's not been through lack of trying, believe me. And I've prayed for a long time for a girlfriend. Many times I have thought a woman who had come into my life might be the one and instead she's been needy - for my knowledge, my experience, my wisdom, my thoughts, my... anything I could give her. I don't regret this. I know that God has placed me in a role of leadership but the thing is leadership is a pretty darn lonely place to be sometimes.

Recently my husband and I joined a new church - new to us that is. It's 2 mins down the road from our new home of 11 months. We are making new friends and finding connections from our old church and other people we know. I've made friends with a lady nearly 20 years my junior but who I click with so easily. She wants to do things I have done but instead of feeling like I'm in a mentoring or leadership role, as in the past, it's more like a girlfriend role and we share, chatter, giggle together and just enjoy one another's company.

And then today I was at a prayer breakfast with another lady I've known for years but do not know on a very intimate level. However after today's breakfast, and the sharing we had during the morning, and the prayer afterward, I can't help feeling that our relationship is verging on something else much deeper. And then she shared with me similar feelings to what I've had and also another lady we both mutually know who had shared similar feelings of loneliness to her.

I thought about this on the train back home. What is going on? 4 of us, all daughters of Christ, and all feeling lonely. What has the enemy been doing to us and what have we allowed to happen? This separation from others, being too busy to nurture relationships or perhaps being in positions that haven't allowed friendships to develop because the 'neediness' of others may have abused what we had to offer by just taking, taking and taking but not giving back to those of us also in need.

This means that my book about Women Mentoring Women is going to take a new turn and cover this aspect too. And it will now start to move ahead. It's like I've been waiting for a missing link and I've just found it.

So tell me girlfriend, are you lonely? What can I/we do to help? What are your thoughts?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Survey Part I

I'm collating material now for my new book and I invite you to participate in a survey I've created.

This is 1 of around 3 surveys I will be running in order to get an idea of who has been mentored and why, who hasn't and why, the benefits, the challenges, what's worked and what hasn't.

A later survey will include information relating to Scripture and mentoring inside the church. However this does not mean you need to participate in all 3 surveys, just what is relevant to you and your own personal situation.

I invite you to participate in Part 1 and I thank you for your time.

Click here to take survey

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Continuing my research

It's been a couple of years since I've posted here. God has had me on a journey of learning and experiencing, perhaps in preparation for what will come out of this blog. My family and I have also been in a time of mourning as we lost one of our lovely daughters only months after I last posted here.

It is my intention to come back here regularly and add new material. And I welcome those who would like to contribute as a guest blogger or by way of leaving comments.

To start with I'd like to hear from you if you've been in a mentoring role.

Or, if you have been mentored.

Or, what you would look for in someone to mentor you.

Women mentoring women - I want to hear it all!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Calling All Titus 2 Women

I am in the early stages of writing a sequel to my book "Worth More Than Rubies: The Value of a Work At Home Mum" which was based on the Proverbs 31 Woman. I'd written a blog on this topic through 2006 and at the end of the study of that famous chapter in the bible I'd come to the conclusion that I was actually a Titus 2 Woman - someone who is guiding and mentoring our younger women, our daughters, God's daughters, in this world. The responses I've received to that blog and to my book is further proof of this realisation.

In that vein, I'd love to hear from women who spend their time guiding and mentoring other women, teaching and showing them God's ways through their lives, their ministries, and whatever else is going on in their lives. I want your story!

I wish to interview several women who have an understanding of what it means to be a Titus 2 Woman and how it has been applied in their lives - whether by design (their's, not God's) or accident (their's, not God's). In other words, they can look back and see that God has had a hand on the direction in their lives and they may, or may not, have been aware of it and travelled that path anyway.

Please leave a comment here if you'd like to know more or you can find my contact details in my profile.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Value of Mentoring

The word 'mentor' is bandied around a lot these days. It's used by coaches, whether they be life, business or otherwise, and used a lot on various websites and in articles published everywhere.

Have you really considered the meaning of this word? When you research its meaning you find this through
  1. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
  2. Mentor Greek Mythology. Odysseus's trusted counselor, in whose guise Athena became the guardian and teacher of Telemachus. lists:

1.a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. influential senior sponsor or supporter.
–verb (used without object) act as a mentor: She spent years mentoring to junior employees.
–verb (used with object) act as a mentor to: The brash young executive did not wish to be mentored by anyone.

Let's go back and revisit Titus 2:4,5 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

We can see here that Paul is instructing the older women in the church to act as Mentors, to train (influence) the younger women, to be a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

For years I've wanted to find someone who could be my mentor but my life has been such that senior women are in my life for a short period of time, I learn from them and move on. I've also sought a Prayer Partner (after reading Stormie OMartian's The Power of a Praying Wife) but a regular partner has eluded me too. However, I've found myself, almost by accident, in a permanent mentoring role to many women worldwide, simply through my business and what I do on a daily basis. The book I wrote and published last year has extended that role and it is my hope that this blog will also birth a new book, as a sequel and extension to the first.

If you haven't read Stormie's book, you can find it linked below.

And you'll find a copy of my book Worth More Than Rubies linked to the image.