Girlfriend, are you lonely?

I've had an awakening this past week. Well, probably the past month or so. And I do believe that God is calling and I'm hearing that call.

I am still planning to write the book mentioned on these pages but as it does with many things, life got in the way, and so did feelings of lack of self-worth, lack of motivation, and the feeling that I was just treading water. For far too long I've been alone - very alone.

I have a family I love and adore, the most wonderful husband who is also a great friend and lots of colleagues, associates, contacts and so on. My business has kept me busy for many years and so have my personal interests of writing, gardening and photography. I don't know the meaning of 'boredom' and always have projects and things to keep me busy.

I love our Lord Jesus Christ and know that He, and our Father God, have carried me through the darkest days and nights, moments in my life that I wouldn't have wished on anyone and yet, there's still something that is missing... Something I haven't had since my early 20s and I'm now in my early 50s. That thing is a girlfriend. Someone I can laugh and cry with, confide in, giggle with, share my dreams with and my prayer needs and someone I can talk to, when perhaps my husband might not be the one I need to share something with.

It's not been through lack of trying, believe me. And I've prayed for a long time for a girlfriend. Many times I have thought a woman who had come into my life might be the one and instead she's been needy - for my knowledge, my experience, my wisdom, my thoughts, my... anything I could give her. I don't regret this. I know that God has placed me in a role of leadership but the thing is leadership is a pretty darn lonely place to be sometimes.

Recently my husband and I joined a new church - new to us that is. It's 2 mins down the road from our new home of 11 months. We are making new friends and finding connections from our old church and other people we know. I've made friends with a lady nearly 20 years my junior but who I click with so easily. She wants to do things I have done but instead of feeling like I'm in a mentoring or leadership role, as in the past, it's more like a girlfriend role and we share, chatter, giggle together and just enjoy one another's company.

And then today I was at a prayer breakfast with another lady I've known for years but do not know on a very intimate level. However after today's breakfast, and the sharing we had during the morning, and the prayer afterward, I can't help feeling that our relationship is verging on something else much deeper. And then she shared with me similar feelings to what I've had and also another lady we both mutually know who had shared similar feelings of loneliness to her.

I thought about this on the train back home. What is going on? 4 of us, all daughters of Christ, and all feeling lonely. What has the enemy been doing to us and what have we allowed to happen? This separation from others, being too busy to nurture relationships or perhaps being in positions that haven't allowed friendships to develop because the 'neediness' of others may have abused what we had to offer by just taking, taking and taking but not giving back to those of us also in need.

This means that my book about Women Mentoring Women is going to take a new turn and cover this aspect too. And it will now start to move ahead. It's like I've been waiting for a missing link and I've just found it.

So tell me girlfriend, are you lonely? What can I/we do to help? What are your thoughts?